Painful Memories
by lili1988
Summary: When Brennan hears 'Girls just want to have fun' for the first time since Booth's near death experience, only an emotional melt down can ensue. Possibly a little OOC but not to much so. K for now possibly T later on.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is just a little thing that popped into my head. I hope you like it. For the first time I am publishing something before I have completed it, will try not to keep you waiting too long for the second chapter.

I have checked the spelling and Grammar hopefully I haven't overlooked anything.

Enjoy

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Sitting in the passenger seat of the SUV Brennan looked pointedly at her partner.  
"I cannot believe you forgot about tonight Booth! A banquet in our honour thanking us and the Jeffersonian team for our extraordinary work on the Macmillan case, clearing senator Williams name and you forgot!"  
"I didn't forget Bones I just thought today was Thursday not Friday," he paused for a moment "I cannot believe Hannah is banned from coming!"  
"Well she did write an article during the case, stating that she believed the senator was guilty and also implying that he may have connections to war crimes!"  
Booth nodded his head shuddering slightly at the memory,  
"I still can't believe she did that! She's lucky he didn't try and press slander charges!"  
They road in silence for a few moments before Booth shaking off his slight moodiness said  
"Anyway it'll only take me 10 minutes to be ready to go, you can come up and wait and finish whatever that strange thing you were doing with your makeup was when I arrived at the lab"  
Brennan smiled and shook her head,  
"It's Angela's idea she says as she now looks like the rear end of a whale one of us has to look good tonight, it is surprisingly more difficult than she explained it being, I have tried three times and gotten through half a pack of cleansing facial wipes trying to get it right, I am not as adept with these things as Angela is, hopefully I have mastered the technique now though, I am a quick learner"

Pulling up in the parking lot of Booth's apartment, they entered the building and rode the elevator to his floor. In the den Hannah was balanced on a Pilates ball stretching, _'So what'_ by Pink sounded from the CD Player, Booth locked his gun in the safe and after a quick greeting to his girlfriend disappeared in the direction of the bathroom, Brennan seated herself on the end of the couch and fished her makeup bag and cleansing wipes from her purse, beginning the process of redoing her eye shadow for the fourth time.

"So Angela talked into the eye makeup huh? Sorry about the mix tape but I like to have positive music on when I work out!"

Brennan, concentrating on applying a line of black eyeliner to her upper lid spoke carefully to avoid jolting the brush.

"Yes she did and I am beginning to regret agreeing to it, it is rather complex"

"Give me a minute here and I'll help you out"

Five minutes later Hannah was perched on the edge of the sofa giggling as she smudged the edge of Brennan's eye shadow.

"Temperance will you stay still, I'm going to poke your eye out if you're not careful!"

"The likelihood of you actually poking my eye out is..." Brennan stopped dead as the track changed and she heard the opening chords of _'girls just want to have fun'_ her breath quickened and her vision blurred as tears clouded her eyes, she tried to focus on her hands calm herself down, but all she could see was her hands coated in his blood as they had been that night. Tears poured down her cheeks and she began sobbing hysterically.

"Oh my God! Temperance! what's wrong? Temperance calm down" Hannah grabbed her shoulders and shook her violently trying to get her attention, but nothing worked, she just kept screaming, shaking and yelling,

"Booth, don't die Booth, don't die, stay with me Booth"

Hearing the commotion from his den, Booth raced to the room, in suit pants and an unbuttoned shirt.

"Oh my God! Bones! What the hell did you do to her?" He knelt in front of his partner, seeing his concerned face she grabbed him wailing in terror, begging him to stay with her.

"I don't know what's going on," Hannah explained "I was helping her do her makeup, the song changed and she flipped."

It was only then that Booth heard the song it in back ground as he rocked Brennan's hysterical form in his arms, he barked at Hannah, fury in his voice.

"Turn that off this instant, how dare you play that song in this house" Hannah moved to her feet and turned the CD off.

"Seeley I don't understand!" Hannah pleaded for an explanation but Booth's attention was purely on Brennan as he pulled her to the floor with him grabbing her hand and pressing it to the scar on his bare chest.

"Look, look I'm here, see I'm alive! Feel that, my hearts beating just fine and the Doctor's said if it wasn't for you I probably wouldn't have been, you saved me Bones, so come on calm down for me please Bones, look breathe like me, nice and slow you're going to make yourself pass out!"

As her breathing began to settle Hannah feeling like an intruder upon the scene, left the room to get some tissues, handing them to Brennan, she again tried to find out what was going on.

"What happened? What did I do?"

Brennan hiccupped as she tried to explain.

"Booth was shot, for two weeks he was dead, I was singing that song when she shot him"

Part of Hannah wished she hadn't asked, the usually rational anthropologist explanation made no sense, how could someone be dead for two weeks and then be alive, she tried to get clarification.

"What do you mea..." Booth held up a hand to silence her.

"I'll explain later Hannah, not now!" looking at Brennan, Hannah nodded her understanding and tried to make amends with Brennan.

"I am sorry I upset you Temperance."

Brennan took a deep breath, trying to regain her composure and slightly reluctantly pushed herself away from the comfort of Booth's arms.

"It's not your fault Hannah, you were not aware of the situation" her eyes drifted to the clock on the wall. "Oh God Booth, look at the time, my foolish behaviour will make us late!"

Looking at her, Booth smiled "No we won't, 10 seconds and I'll be ready to go"

"But... my makeup" she indicated to hear mascara stained cheeks and rosy nose. Booth gave a cheeky wink,

"You have a best friend for a reason, text Angela tell her to meet you in the Ladies' Bathroom, it's was her idea, she should help you anyway"

"Ok" Brennan stared after Booth unwilling to take her eyes away from him in case he vanished. Hannah feeling need to do something, gathered Brennan's things and put them into her bag for her, it saddened her to see this powerful woman looking so scared, she had no idea what had happened that could leave her so broken.

Booth quickly reappeared and lifted Brennan to her feet.

"Ok Cinders, let us go to the ball" He blew an air kiss to Hannah "I'll see you later, we'll talk then"

Hannah stared at the door a look of pure confusion adorning her face as she tried to make sense of what had just happened.

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Up next - Hannah finds out about B&B's nearly deadly past.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Oh my God wow! thank you so much for all your wonderful feedback :D I cannot believe my story was so popular - I hope this chapter lives up to the last one

Much Love

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Chapter 2

Hannah had spent the evening in what could only be described as a trance. Temperance's words kept circling in her mind. He was shot! Dead! She had tried to make sense of it but had failed, so in the end at 1am she gave up on waiting for Seeley to come home and explain. She went to bed, hoping that a good night's sleep would make things clearer, unfortunately they didn't and she was still awake at 2:47am when the apartment door clicked open signalling Seeley's return, she listened carefully to the sounds of the apartment, expecting him to slip into the room and silently climb into bed next to her but he didn't. Instead she heard him cross the den and enter the kitchen, the telltale click signalled him opening the refrigerator and popping a beer open. Hannah knew that for him to be drinking alone at this hour he must have something on his mind so she slipped from the bed and watched as he flopped onto the couch and pulled out his cell phone, hitting a number in the speed dial. The calm of the apartment building meant Hannah could faintly here the phone ringing and a 'hello' as it was answered.

"Hey Bones, it's me, I'm back at the apartment now. Are you ok?"

"Yes Booth, I am fine. I just found that after earlier I wanted to know that you were safe."

"Well I am Bones, I wish you had agreed to come and stay here tonight, that way I could have kept an eye on you!"

"That's not necessary Booth, my reaction earlier was merely a psychosomatic response to the memory of a traumatic event"

"Be that as it may Bones, on Monday we are going to see Sweets" He cut her off before she could argue "And don't tell me you don't believe in psychology, because I know you don't but he needs to know what he's done to you and he needs to explain and apologise. If he had just told you I was ok and that my death was a covert op then tonight wouldn't of happened."

"You cannot be sure of that Booth"

"I think I can Bones, now promise me you will try and get some sleep ok, if you need me just call" He paused for a second sighing "Goodnight Bones"

"Goodnight Booth"

Both remained on the line unwilling to be the first to hang up, after a full minute of silence Brennan spoke.

"Booth, would you stay on the phone until I fall asleep? I feel more comfortable knowing you're there"

"Of course Bones"

Sighing Hannah watched the scene and a little sadly she slipped back to bed unnoticed.

B&B B&B B&B B&B B&B B&B B&B B&B B&B B&B B&B B&B B&B B&B B&B B&B B&B B&B B&B B&B

The next morning Hannah wasn't surprised when she found she woke up alone, pulling on a pair of sweat pants she made her way through the den, where Seeley was fast asleep on the couch and into the kitchen. She flicked on the coffee pot and grabbed some bread from the bread bin, dropping 4 slices into the toaster.

She moved back to the den a few minutes later and placed two steaming cups and the plate of toast with Jelly on the coffee table. She gave a sad sigh but knew that she had to have this conversation.

"Hey wakey wakey" She nudged the sleeping form of her lover who stirred and struggled for a few seconds to focus on her,

"Oh God, I fell asleep on the couch! I'm so sorry!"

Hannah shook her head, handed him the steaming cup and grabbed herself a slice of the toast.

"It's ok, Temperance needed you! Now what happened last night"

Taking a deep breath Booth pushed himself to a sitting position and began the painful process of explaining to Hannah what had caused Brennan's emotional breakdown,

"...So after that night she never listened to that song again, I think when it came on last night it just broke her resolve to compartmentalise the pain and she snapped"

Having listened intently to the story Hannah sighed, knowing what she had to do.

"You need to be with her Seeley," She said simply.

"She told me last night that she didn't want us to fuss over her, she is embarrassed that she broke down in front of us last night"

"No Seeley, I mean you need to be with her, you love her and she loves you, I saw it last night. You deserve to be together!" Seeley jumped in shock at Hannah's frank statement and automatically tried to argue with her, she placed her finger to his lips to silence him.

"Please, don't argue with me, I know you're going to say and I do believe you when you say you love me, but you don't love me like you love Temperance and I'm not angry because I saw it in her eyes last night and I could never love you like she does. So please Seeley, give yourself that chance and be happy, go and see Temperance and tell her, I'll pack my things and be gone when you get home." She kissed him tenderly once on the lips "Goodbye Seeley, thank you for a great few month. I won't ever forget you"

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A/N: I Hope everyone enjoyed - Looks like there will be more to come my muse appears to have woken up :D


	3. Chapter 3

Booth stood outside Brennan's apartment block and ran his fingers through his unbrushed hair, after his confrontation with Hannah, well if it could be called a confrontation, he had left his apartment in a daze, still wearing the shirt and pants he had fallen asleep in. He made a futile attempt to smooth his shirt before mounting the steps and entering the building, waving to Chuck the security guard as he passed.

Taking a deep breath he knocked on the door and waited, after a few minutes he was beginning to worry when finally he heard the chain slide free and the door latch release, she stood blurry eyed looking at her visitor.

"Booth? It's not even 9am is something wrong?"

"Yes... well no... sort of... erm can I come in?" Brennan stepped back concern on her face.

"Yes of course, come in"

Booth stood in the hallway and looked at his partner, stood in front of him in light weight sweat pants and a stretch vest. For her to be still in bed at this time she must be exhausted. He didn't know what to say to her, so he just dived in.

"Hannah left me this morning." Brennan took a second to process what he had said, she was more than slightly shocked.

"Why?"

"Well... Well she left, she left because we love each other!"

Brennan stood in shock, looking at her dishevelled partner. Booth feeling he had said the wrong thing began to back pedal furiously,

"Look, that's the reason she gave me, she said she saw it when you were crying last night, the way you were holding me and the way I was comforting you, I'm not trying to force myself on you here, I wouldn't do that again"

Brennan shook her head and a few fresh tears escaped her tired lids,

"She's right" the whispered words brought back a fresh bout of sobs, Booth blinked for a second absorbing her words, as the realisation of what she had said dawned on him his arms were around her and he was whispering in her ear.

"It's ok baby, it's ok, I love you too!"

She looked up at him through heavy lashes and sniffed,

"You do? Even after I pushed you away?"

"I never stopped"

He guided her to the den and seated her on the couch, kneeling in front of her. "I never stopped Bones, I can promise you that."

He caressed her cheek gently, catching and wiping away a single tear, she gasped as she caught her breath before whispering "God I'm scared! I'm not good at this!"

Booth shifted to sit next to her and wrapped her into his arms, "What do you mean Bones? What aren't you good at?"

"Relationships... I mean emotional relationships, I'm not good at them. I am exceptionally good at physical relations"

Booth gave a slight chuckle and Brennan shifted to look at him, "What is amusing Booth? I am admitting my fears to you, how can that be classed as amusing?"

"I'm not laughing at you Bones, I'm laughing because you think anyone is good at relationships! There is no special formula to make a relationship work it's all trial and error. Just like a scientific experiment and you more than most are geared up to deal with them! We just take things one step at a time until we get it right!"

"You don't mind if I want to take things slowly?"

"The speed you want to move at that's the perfect speed for me. There is only one thing I will insist on."

"W..What?" she stuttered

"What I said last night, we are going to see Sweets on Monday and at least I want him to apologise to you, I don't ever want you to ever feel that pain again Bones"

She rested her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes,

"I won't win if I argue will I?"

"Nope!" he pulled her close so she was snuggled into his lap. He stroked her hair and closed his eyes giving a contented sigh before falling asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I am so sorry this update took so long! I went ok holiday and after I got back it took me 6 weeks at work to get everything back to normal and had no time to contemplate writing!

I hope this was worth the wait!

When she woke up Brennan was panicked to realise she was alone on the couch and for a moment believed her conversation with Booth had all been a dream, that was until she breathed in the scent of fresh coffee in the air and heard the sizzling of a frying pan from the kitchen. As she rounded the corner to see what Booth was up to she heard him humming a slightly off key version of 'Hot Blooded' and smiled,

"If my refrigerator blows up again because of that song, I will not be impressed" Looking round at her twinkling eyes Booth smiled,

"Sorry did I wake you?"

"No I think the smell of French toast may of though I am rather hungry" She looked at her phone that sat on the table "It is 2pm after all"

"Yeah I know I cannot believe we slept so late, I thought we could do with some food, but I'm hardly dressed to go out. You keep things in really weird places by the way?"

"What do you mean?"

"Egg whisk's go in cutlery draws not in with the mixing bowls"

"I don't see why, I only use the egg whisk when I'm using a mixing bowl"

Booth chuckled as he served up their food and sat down opposite her at the table.

"By the way Bones, I've been thinking, if we are taking things slowly then I need to Woo you, so we need to go on dates"

"It is not necessary Booth, I already know you are a good man and I already love you, you do not need to impress me!"

"I'm not trying to impress you Bones, I'm showing that I love you! So tomorrow night I am taking you out for Italian, no arguments"

"Ok but I am going shopping for maternity clothes with Angela tomorrow in the day"

"Perfect" He said taking a large bite of toast "You can spend the day shopping and in the evening we go out. Oh I forgot to say about it last night, how can Angela say she is the size of a whale already? She's only what 4 months gone?"

"15 weeks and four days, but none of her regular clothes fit anymore and in turn she believes she is the size of a whale. That's why we are going shopping tomorrow"

Booth looked confused but decided to let it go over his head remembering Rebecca's hormonal rants and rages during her pregnancy with Parker.

"I'm not even going to debate that one. I hadn't even noticed she'd started to show that much if I'm honest."

"She has been wearing loose fitting gypsy shirts for that last few weeks, because of her petite frame her curves are actually very pronounced. Her breast's have developed quite noticeably."

Booth choked on his coffee, spraying some of the liquid across the table.

"You've been looking at Angela's breast's?"

"Angela was wearing a front clasping bra at the lab last week and the clasp snapped, as Hodgin's was out with you at the time collecting evidence she asked me to fix it for her with a safety pin"

The embarrassed flush slowly died from Booth's cheeks as he understood the situation and his composure returned. They finished their late breakfast in silence and neither spoke until they were stacking their plates into the dish washer, Booth tentatively straightened up.

"Well I guess Hannah should have left by now, it's not like she had a lot of stuff, so I really should get back to mine and shower, I'm starting to smell like that hobo we have to keep chasing away from the dumpsters behind the Hoover!"

Brennan chuckled at the analogy.

"Ok, erm I know we are seeing each other tomorrow but would you like to see me this evening, we could go to The Founding Fathers, you know like we used to."

Booth felt a twinge of guilt at her use of the words 'used to' but knew she was right, his relationship with Hannah had affected their partnership and he knew he had to make up for that.

"Of course Bones" he gave her a fully fledged charm smile "I'd love to, I'll meet you there at eight?"

Both suddenly became very shy as they stood in the kitchen. Booth scuffing at the lino floor with the toe of his sock,

"So... erm... I'll see you later" Brennan nodded.

"Yes, of course" they stood for a second before slowly shuffling toward the door. Standing in the hallway the awkwardness in the air was thick, neither was sure how to say goodbye, neither wanting to push the line to quickly or to far quickly. Finally Brennan leant forward and placed a feather light kiss on his left cheek, a simple gesture with a world of meaning.

"I love you Booth!"

"I love you too Bones" and with one last meaningful glance he left the apartment.

B&B B&B B&B B&B B&B B&B B&B B&B B&B B&B B&B B&B B&B B&B B&B B&B B&B B&B B&B B&B

The following day as they browsed the mall Brennan recited to Angela a carefully edited version of the previous day's events.

"So hang on let me get this straight, Hannah left Booth because he never told her about Pam Noonan. Wow ok that's really... I guess the word I'm looking for is sad" She trailed off as something in the rack caught her eye "Oh my god, Bren, this is so the cutest thing I've ever seen" She held up a white onesie with beach balls and a smiling suns all over the front of it.

"I thought the point of this trip was to find clothing for you?"

"Yea I know Bren, but look this is just so cute" She threw the onesie into her basket and continued through the store towards the maternity wear section.

"Anyway Sweetie I really need to know, what are you doing about that business on Friday night, I'm really worried about you"

"Booth is taking me to see Sweet's on Monday, he says my first step towards getting over this is for Sweets to apologise for his actions"

"I agree, I still don't see why he did it to you, it was wrong, I really don't see why you forgave him for doing that to you"

"I did it because if I didn't Booth would question my actions and would find out what Sweets did" Angela stopped dead in her tracks and Brennan cringed at her verbal mistake.

"What do you mean what he did?"

"I would rather not discuss it here Angela, I will tell you at some point, but not now. Please don't make me" Seeing the desperation in her friends eyes Angela relented.

"Ok Sweetie, but I'm not going to forget this conversation!"

Up next B&B confront Sweets...


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